It's easy to get lost in your own need. I have been thinking a lot about the things I'm uncomfortable with in my new "home". Spending lots of time figuring out how to fix it, fluff the pillows as it were, and make a cozy life for myself. At the same time, Geoff and I have been taking a step back. One of the things the Philippines is teaching us is that relationships are important. So, we're trying to look for opportunities to get to know people rather than just being frustrated about the things they do that don't make sense to us. I've been noticing a few things about people. And it has helped me to care not quite as much about my cozy place. Last night, over dinner, our bass player told us that he used to sleep in a cardboard box when he was 13. That was after his dad died and his mom left. Our house helper's little boy (the same age as Ariel) has lesions on his skin and is not keeping his food down. They don't know why. Another member of our band's father just committed suicide. I know someone else who is really lonely and reaching out for relationship in the very act of cutting them off. I thank God that he has given me the opportunity to see some of these things. This is really why I'm here. Not to be a cool girl who is doing exciting things. I don't want to be a judge or commentator on the lives of other people. I just want to know them, grieve with them, laugh with them. Find the beauty of who they are. In some ways, this is new for me. At least the acting out of it. If you know me, you know I'm rather quiet. I listen a lot and don't ask many questions. The listening has done me well for the past 30 years. Now, I'm learning how to ask. "Who are you really? Why are you so beautiful?"Note: The pic comes from my visit to a remote village in Mongolia. This girl lived in the school dormitory where I stayed. She was very quiet and did not interact much. The day before I left, she wanted to give me hug. Who knows why. We could never say more than "Hello." I wish I could have taken the time to ask her my questions.
1 comment:
I have the opposite problem....not enough listening and asking too many questions! God has placed you where you are so that he can not only use you, but so that he can continue to chisel you into the people he wants you to be. Sometimes we forget that the "becoming" is as (more?) important that the "doing." You have been placed in a unique situation of "becoming" in the midst of "doing." God is teaching you marvelous things about yourself, and the people around you that he has called you to serve.
I love the photo and its story!
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