sabbath

I'm taking ballet. I have my own ballet shoes. And once a week, I'm learning to twirl across the floor. It's part of my Sabbath strategy.

Several months ago, I was diagnosed with "barreling down the road to burn-out". The good folks at the missionary training institute pointed out the symptoms that I had been ignoring. Why? Because I believed I was a super-hero. I was supposed to save the world. No, I HAD to save the world. And ultimately, no sacrifice within myself was worth turning back.

The fatal flaw in that idea is that if you sacrifice yourself, then you no longer exist. And if you no longer exist, you can't exactly save the world. Much less be a wife, a mother, a daughter, or a friend.

By God's grace, I began to learn the theology of Sabbath. Not Sunday itself. But the IDEA of a Sunday. Closing the door to the outside world and resting. Saying no even when you have the right answer. Even when the person's need is so legitimate and you are overwhelmed with the desire and compassion to do something. And most of all, even when it doesn't feel good to rest. It actually hurts. But you know that if you don't, you will be completely gone and you'll have nothing to give to the very person you long to be with.

Christ did this. He did it a lot. And I can't imagine how hard it must have been.

I'm still in the U.S.A. I don't know when I'll leave. I'm not showing up to social events very often. I'm not volunteering for anything at all. And I'm taking a ballet class even though I've never danced a step in my life. Because I'm on Sabbath. Regardless of how I feel about it.