What does that mean?!

Geoff and I are starting our foray into house shopping. Since we are foreigners, we are not allowed to buy. Only rent. Most rentals are not advertised, and they're gone within the day. Since there is no way we can scour these unknown neighborhoods alone, we are trying to work through a realtor, but we have no idea how the real estate business works here. This is just a little anecdote of day to day communication in our world. I see a listing online that looks interesting. This alone is unusual because 98% of communication is done face to face. But this realtor seems to be ahead of the game using well written English and an attractive website. She obviously caters to foreigners. So, I email her asking for more information on the house. You must know that Filipinos will only answer one question at a time, so no matter how efficient you are at attempting to clearly communicate what you need to know, if it involves more than one question, they will only answer the LAST one you asked. So, no surprise, the first email is returned with exactly the same information that was already listed on the website. Great. That really helps.

Now, on to email two. "How do your fees work?" Answer email…"The owner will be the one to give us, we are 3 agents for that house, but its okey, we do sharing here, gain more friends as well. Whenever you are ready, let me know." Great. I don't know what that means, and I still don't know the answer.

Third email with different wording of the SAME question…"Do you charge to show the house?" (This might seem absurd in American business, but you have to ask here, because you just never know what they expect.) The reply, verbatim…"No Sir, we do not charge you anything, BUT if you insist to give us, we will heartily accept it. Best regards."

What does this mean?!! First, I wasn't insisting. I was only trying to ask the right question in order to get a clear answer. Second, are you expecting me to donate to your "cause"? What IS your cause? Am I just supposed to give you extra money just because I feel happy that day? If you're not expecting it, why would you bring it up? Third, you are a realtor with a job! Not a convent, an orphanage, or someone dying of hunger! Or is it that this little extra something on the side will insure me that you will do your job well…...<sigh>……I just don't know what it means. Or what is expected of me. What in the world is she trying to tell me without telling me?

This happens everyday. Welcome to my world.

P.S. For those grace full (and grace filled) seasoned veterans of cross cultural communication, please don't hold my ranting against me!