“I like big…and I cannot lie!”

It all started with my saying, "My butt is tired," after having spent hours in front of the computer. It just so happened that it was Tuesday. The day of our language lesson and therefore a day filled with all of the language practice that we didn't do the rest of the week. So, naturally, since we had just learned the word for "tired" (kapoy), Geoff asked a Filipino friend for the word "butt" so that he could translate my statement (which, by the way, is "Kapoy ang akong laput.") Later that evening, Geoff and our friends Manny and Michael were traveling back from Agdao, a slum community where they had been hanging out with the teenagers. Geoff being Geoff, he began practicing his new words with Michael, also a teenager. Now knowing "butt" in Cebuano, it is naturally assumed that good practicing would include previous vocabulary such as "white" or "round" and ownership words such as "my" and "his". You can put the pieces together. Here's where it gets funny. The whole time they are in the taxi cracking up about Geoff's word combinations, Manny is watching the taxi driver whose face does not move a muscle. Absolutely no reaction at all. In fact, it is the lack of reaction that caught Manny's attention. Eventually, Geoff and Michael are let out, and Manny is alone in the car. The taxi driver turns to him and says seriously, "that American white guy…he is a missionary?!...What he is saying…that is not nice. He is naughty!" (Should note here that Geoff was also wearing a doo rag and his black utilikilt. You know, the normal Geoff attire.) Manny, being quick on his feet says, "Oh no, he is not a missionary! He has a band here. And for Americans, it's okay to talk that way." Taxi driver: "Are YOU a missionary?" Manny: "Yes, I am the missionary." HA! So now, somewhere in Davao is a devout Taxi driver who is earnestly praying for Manny to have the strength and wisdom to evangelize his friend, Geoff J And needless to say, Geoff has learned where NOT to say "butt".

What does that mean?!

Geoff and I are starting our foray into house shopping. Since we are foreigners, we are not allowed to buy. Only rent. Most rentals are not advertised, and they're gone within the day. Since there is no way we can scour these unknown neighborhoods alone, we are trying to work through a realtor, but we have no idea how the real estate business works here. This is just a little anecdote of day to day communication in our world. I see a listing online that looks interesting. This alone is unusual because 98% of communication is done face to face. But this realtor seems to be ahead of the game using well written English and an attractive website. She obviously caters to foreigners. So, I email her asking for more information on the house. You must know that Filipinos will only answer one question at a time, so no matter how efficient you are at attempting to clearly communicate what you need to know, if it involves more than one question, they will only answer the LAST one you asked. So, no surprise, the first email is returned with exactly the same information that was already listed on the website. Great. That really helps.

Now, on to email two. "How do your fees work?" Answer email…"The owner will be the one to give us, we are 3 agents for that house, but its okey, we do sharing here, gain more friends as well. Whenever you are ready, let me know." Great. I don't know what that means, and I still don't know the answer.

Third email with different wording of the SAME question…"Do you charge to show the house?" (This might seem absurd in American business, but you have to ask here, because you just never know what they expect.) The reply, verbatim…"No Sir, we do not charge you anything, BUT if you insist to give us, we will heartily accept it. Best regards."

What does this mean?!! First, I wasn't insisting. I was only trying to ask the right question in order to get a clear answer. Second, are you expecting me to donate to your "cause"? What IS your cause? Am I just supposed to give you extra money just because I feel happy that day? If you're not expecting it, why would you bring it up? Third, you are a realtor with a job! Not a convent, an orphanage, or someone dying of hunger! Or is it that this little extra something on the side will insure me that you will do your job well…...<sigh>……I just don't know what it means. Or what is expected of me. What in the world is she trying to tell me without telling me?

This happens everyday. Welcome to my world.

P.S. For those grace full (and grace filled) seasoned veterans of cross cultural communication, please don't hold my ranting against me!

Turtles and Ice Cream

Today was Ariel's 2nd birthday. It was filled with cake and ice cream, presents, and long talks on Skype with all of her lola's (Filipino for grandmothers). I read through her diary tonight. I started it when I was pregnant thinking that I would be one of those really cool moms someday that presented their daughter with a treasure of precious moments recorded over the years. A real "hallmark exclusive" in my make believe world :) It is amazing to watch her grow. Discover. Learn. And generally have a good attitude about it all. I've been thinking about how God must feel watching over us. How is heart must sing when I discover truth. Similar to my joy when, without my coaching, Ariel cocks her head to one side, smiles, and sweetly says, "Thank you!" when I've given her a piece of cheese or helped her with her shoes. It's hard to explain how the heart feels in these small moments. Most of the time I feel like I'm blundering my way through parenthood. I wish I had God's wisdom in teaching her things like He teaches me. I ask for it a lot. We'll see how He answers my prayer on the next season of parenthood...potty training! Ariel's big gift from us was a Turtle shaped potty. As soon as she unwrapped it, she sat on it with a huge smile and the whole room applauded. Tomorrow morning we'll see if she's as excited about riding the turtle as she was today :)